How do you feel about walking around a university again?
'Really awesome. It gives me a lot of energy to be among young people who are still busy with the future. The students are still at the beginning and that reminds me that so much is still possible. Especially in these times, when it sometimes feels like a lot is not going well. We are not lost yet.'
You once studied Japanology. Where did that interest come from?
'As a child, I already had a fascination for Japan, although I don't know exactly where it came from. I remember once taking a book on Zen Buddhism from the library out of the blue. It contained drawings of monks and samurai, which I found magical. Later, I became increasingly fascinated by Japanese culture: how everything has meaning, even how you cook rice. It is a culture of extremes, but also one in which everything is done with attention. That suits me.'
Did you already know then that you wanted to become an actress?
'Yes, actually I did. I was already working on it as a child, but I never really dared to pursue the dream. I kept thinking: who am I to want that? Still, it kept itching. While studying Japanology, I suddenly thought: soon I'll be eighty and I'll regret never having tried. So I quit my studies halfway through and started musical theatre at the conservatory.'
What has acting brought you?
'A lot. I worked as an actress for about 15 years, and for me it was not only art, but also a way to better understand the world and people around me. Sometimes even almost like therapy, a way to explore how I am put together as a human being. Only, as I get older, I think I've gotten enough out of that. I feel I can only use a few per cent of my talent in that.'
Why did you choose law?
'I had already been active as an ambassador for the Refugee Foundation for a few years and noticed how basic my knowledge was regarding human rights, migration and how those systems work. That frustrated me. I felt that if I wanted to say or mean something about this, I should be able to substantiate it better. With the goal of eventually working as a lawyer at a human rights firm.'
Was there a barrier to study again now?
'Huge. I haven't even paid off my student debt from my previous courses. So I thought: gosh, to study again now? I struggled with that for a long time. Until I just really wasn't happy in my job anymore.
In late 2023, I became quite depressed, reinforced by the situation in the world and the feeling that the acting profession was no longer bringing me anything. And then I thought: okay, I'm almost forty. I want to do something substantial. Something in which I am challenged, but can also really contribute to the world around me. Since I started studying again, I finally feel satisfaction again.
I find that it is very important to have a goal and the feeling that you can do something that contributes, in whatever way. And that may mean I have less money to spend for the time being, but yes, so be it. I don't care much about that either. I'm more driven than ever.'
Do you have any tips for people who are unsure about a career switch but might not dare?
'It's never too late to change course. In my experience, that little voice that says you are out of place will only get louder. Until it starts screaming. If you keep ignoring it, it will start expressing itself physically.
It's very nice when what you do coincides with what you like. I find that things come naturally then. For example, I didn't know I could study so hard. This is the first time I have experienced that and it is because I am so passionate. I even do extra work. I am now that irritating student in the front row who asks questions all the time. I didn't think that was possible. So you can still discover that at 40.'
You've made some pretty big turns in your career. How do you look at that yourself?
'It sometimes feels like I've already led 15 different lives. But it all fits me. Each step touches a different aspect of who I am. I am not afraid to make adjustments if something is no longer right. Law does feel like the last big step. I've had a taste of everything and because of that, I know this is the end station.'
