Laughter at a party is natural, a sigh in the office can be awkward, and a scream on a train is quickly perceived as strange. We constantly make emotional sounds, yet we appear to adhere to various unwritten social rules while doing so.
Research by social psychologist Roza Kamiloğlu maps out what these rules look like in daily life for the first time.
Kamiloğlu tracked people in the Netherlands for a week and collected nearly 4,000 examples of laughing, sighing, screaming, groaning, growling, gasping, and other sounds. Three times a day, participants received a message asking where they were, who they were with, how the situation felt, and what sounds they or others had made in the preceding half-hour. They also rated how acceptable such a sound would be to most people in that situation.
Laughter turns out to be by far the most accepted sound
Laughter occurs primarily in the company of friends and family and is considered most appropriate in those settings. However, there is a striking exception: when a clear hierarchy exists - such as between an employee and a supervisor - laughter is deemed less acceptable.
With sighing, Kamiloğlu observes the exact opposite. A sigh is most accepted when someone is alone. Yet, sighs were reported relatively frequently at work and in the company of colleagues - precisely in places where they are considered less appropriate. This may indicate that social norms do not always hold up against stress: sometimes we simply sigh, even when the unwritten rules suggest the situation does not call for it.
“A scream doesn’t always carry the same meaning, either. Screaming and retching are generally the least accepted sounds, but in an energetic, positive setting a scream is accepted much more readily. A scream at a party can express enthusiasm and therefore need not be an alarm signal at all,” says Kamiloğlu.
The setting plays a clear role
People are most tolerant at home, at parties, and among close friends or family. The threshold is higher at work, in libraries, on public transport, and among strangers. Formality and power dynamics, in particular, limit the scope for emotional vocalizations.
Yet, the specific type of sound itself proves to be the most important factor in whether it is deemed socially acceptable. Kamiloğlu thus demonstrates that communication extends far beyond words. A laugh, a sigh, or a scream carries not only emotional but also social significance.
The study is part of Kamiloğlu’s NWO Veni project. The next step is to investigate whether these unwritten rules apply in other cultures as well; to this end, Kamiloğlu will compare the rules governing vocal expressions across different countries.