1. What exactly is happiness?
"I always say: feeling good and functioning well. That varies a lot from person to person, but everyone knows whether they feel happy or not. That's why we always ask people to rate their feeling of happiness, and that works very well. Then you notice that you do many things because that's the way it is or should be. Think of simple leisure activities, like book clubs, yoga classes, or the idea that you "have to exercise." No, you have to exercise, which is healthy. You don't have to play sports. Or, "I have to have a social life." Yes, connection is important, but some people want to talk to one person daily and others want to be out the door six nights a week
2. What do you need to do to become happy(er)?
"Happiness is partly hereditary: some people are happier more easily than others. But just because you're unlucky with your disposition doesn't mean you can't raise your happiness rating a little. To be happy you have to meet roughly three basic needs: connection, trust and security. And most importantly, realize that everyone is different. So what makes me happy won't make you happy, and vice versa. So get to know yourself well and stay close to yourself: you are who you are, and if you swim hugely against that, you won't last."
"In practice, you can do a number of things that, on average, contribute to your sense of happiness. For example, 'count your blessings': think about what you do have instead of what you don't. And work on optimism: turn something negative into something positive. The past happened, and you can dwell for hours on what went wrong, but you can also think, "Okay, this happened, what did I learn from it? Often there is a learning moment in there. Or think about the tone in an e-mail, from, 'Oh, that's going to be complicated' to: "Gee, what an interesting challenge. So while optimism is a lot easier for some than others, you can practice it. But remember: training mentally is just as hard as training physically. So practicing happiness is just as strenuous as, say, training for a marathon. It takes time and attention."
"By the way, happiness also depends in part on how well you fit into society. Some people fit in very well: if you tick all the boxes that people expect of you, you feel good. But if you don't fit that, then you don't feel so good. I think we need to turn it around and start with people's wellbeing. And so not tapping boxes. Then I think everybody becomes a lot happier."
3. But we have to meet all kinds of demands in this society, don't we?
"Yes, and we have to change that, but it's not easy. It starts with our school system, where we all have to jump through the same hoops, especially until you're sixteen. Schools, and our economy, are now primarily focused on achievement, rather than wellbeing. But wellbeing is a huge catalyst: if you feel good, you get a thousand times more done than if you don't. Yes, you have to go to school. Yes, you have to be able to do math and write. And of course it's good if you know something about history, but do you really need to know everything about the Romans to function in our society? If children learn as early as elementary school that everyone is different, that they are allowed to be who they are and do what they want, very different dynamics emerge when they are older."
Meike Bartels is Professor of Genetics and Wellbeing at the Faculty of Behavioural and Movement Sciences (FGB). She is also known as our "happiness professor.
